Stirrings.

What is a stirring? 
A stirring is a feeling you get in the pit of your stomach (maybe its those butterflies)
What causes them? Usually the male species, or just being hormonal. PMS anyone?
If you have ever read the book "the giver" you will know exactly what these stirrings are.


Stirrings
by me.
As I looked upon the slits in my wrist I think of a time when I was normal...
Then I looked at his six pack and thought, 'mmh'
And thus the stirrings began.
Thank you.


This was a poem me and my friends made up... No, I'm not that depressed. 


What can cure this?
either
1) a boy
2) lying in a heap of mess (aka fetal position)
3) ice cream, friends... and usually a lot of obnoxious crying. 

Mayhaps it's deprivation of sleep.

Mayhaps: a combination of perhaps and maybe. 

The past few nights have been amusing to me... But that might be because I am sleep deprived. 
Thanksgiving; stuffed myself. nothing big there. I became obese and was immediately put on the atkins diet. 
Me and my three cousins were stuck downstairs at the kids table.. Which shouldn't really be called a kids table, its more like the "outcast" or "none old people" 
My cousin who has just found her photography skills took pictures of moi. (It was at this moment I decided that I like to act super cheesy in "profesh model businesses" probably why I will never be hired..)
Then night fell amongst us.. The cool crisp air shivered in the wind.
(deep right?)
Anywho,
11:00 came and I drove to pick up my dearest friend Kaylee and we zoomed off to kohls. A line was already in formation from those who wanted their blenders and food mixers. 
This is black friday.
It was a terribly long wait, as kaylee talked to zoe on the phone I stood there breathing in the cigarrete smoke from surrounding personages.  
I may or may not have turned into a savage on this night..
Making eye contact with someone and you both have that blood lust in your eyes.
Kaylee and I had only one thing on our minds as midnight came and customers were being let inside.
To get the food mixures that her mom so badly needed. We rushed inside and obtained two of them and got in line. After waiting in line for forever we reached the front only to find out that kay couldn't just use her moms debit card her mom had to be there... So we waited as her mom finished her stuff up at target and joined us. While we waited we looked at clothes. Kicking the boxes with the mixures in it so we would have to carry them. I got two shirts.
Her mom came, bought the mixures, we left. 
We drove around for a little bit before deciding to stop by Target. We walked in and basically walked right back out. The line for check out wrapped around the entire store.
Screw that.
We left target and tried to find any gas station that may be open so we could get some dr peppers. 
No luck.
Denny's 3:30 am
We ate at denny's and luckily were seated pretty quick even though the food came out like an hour later...
Stuffed and content we drove back to Kay's house were we didn't fall asleep for another hour or so because we laid in her bed and chatted about the male species.
Asleep at 5
Wake up at 10:30
I stayed at Kaylee's for a few more hours and then traveled home.
I drove to the bank only to find it closed.
Freaking heck.
I colored my hair black.
then at around 6:30 I met up with Kaylee once again but we picked Mo up to come with us.
Blasted 'grease' in kaylee's car as the bass was turned up high.
We sang at the top of our lungs.
We went to the mall.
"she" was there.
Kaylee took five years shopping but we finally left... After I had awkwardly said hi to the thirty people I saw there that I knew.
Wendys.
then breaking dawn at 10
Kaylee and I spread ourselves out on the theater chairs, exhausted, as Emily watched contently
I thought I might die from lack of sleep.
The drive home was just..odd. 
I ate cereal. 
I need sleep.
Goodnight.

I shouldn't be allowed to go grocery shopping by myself

Have you ever just been sittin' around when the craving to eat a certain something comes on strong and you realize you don't own that thing at your house?
This happened to me today.
Er.. Tonight at like 9:30 so me being tired didn't make this night any better. 
I was reading when the urge to eat cereal hit me, hit me hard. But not any cereal... Frosted Flakes.
Now here's the thing... I can't go to the grocery store by myself because I always end up having some sort of bad experience or mental break down. But I thought, "It's just cereal not too bad."
So I throw on a mans jacket (because you always have to look as lazy and comfortable as you can when running to the store) and slip on some shoes (no worries I had pants but they aren't to great so they don't get much of a mention)
And I was on my way to winco
Question: Why is winco so crowded on a Wednesday night? Like more so than I've seen Saturdays. It baffled me. 
So I walked around wondering whether it was worth it to actually stand in line for so long seeing as I was only buying cereal...
I decided to try Maceys.
As I walked into the store I realized my wallet was still in the car, I pivoted and walked speedly back to my car.
When I walked in side I was spinning my keys around when I walked by a few boys... I dropped my keys right infront of them, picked them up like nothing happened and walked away quickly. 
Then I had to decide which size of cereal to get and I came to the knowledge I only had enough for the smaller kind (just barely enough, I would have murdered someone if I didn't have enough for either. No one mess with me)
I picked up the box and dropped it.. Picked it up and dropped it.. again. The worker by me in the cereal isle just stared. 
When I finally got a grip I went to go see if they had any doughnut samples left...
Empty.
I just needed to get home before I lost it.. 
The girl who checked out my one box of cereal seemed to take ages because she was talking to another on of her coworkers.
I'm right here, no big. Take your time. 
I grabbed my newly bought box of cereal and rushed out to my car, I passed by two creepers that stared me down the entire time.
I got home, ate my bowl of cereal.
And now here I am realizing how stupid that whole process was just to obtain something so undermining as that.

  Btw, I really shouldn't paint nails either.. Look at those beauts.

Oh, It's one of those days.

Today's been one of those..

Crap classes

Soda machine doesn't work at sonic during happy hour thus causing me to not obtain a strawberry dr pepper and to have to go home in depression

Gas lights been on for a while

I see you with her.

People ask me how we are doing,

I tell them not too good. 

Reminding me once again,

That you are with her. 
I deserve better anyway, right?

Not feeling to pretty

Invisible

Walk around in a daze

Just obnoxiously cold

kind of day.

Come on old man

Suppose you're in a hurry, speeding down the streets, avoiding any sort of patrolman, when a car swerves out in front of you from out of nowhere. It's the oldsmobile, and you know whats coming. You groan as your cars speed decreases by twenty. 

It's the Grandma/Grandpa drivers. (you don't even have to be old, but, if you drive like this I will call you a grandma or grandpa)

We all know this feeling.

I'm pretty sure old people just sit around any corner or crevice they can while parked in their car until they see one of us speedy people heading down the streets. And then their plans are set into motion, engine starts and they pull out in front of you. 

So deceitful. 

You're already running late and you arrive even later than planned because of this situation, and all you can do is grumble that the car infront of you was going 15 in a 25 Anything under 20 in painfully slow though. 

How do you spot these people?

They come to complete and I mean COMPLETE stop... Sitting there for ten seconds.

When turning or stopping they slow down about 50 feet ahead of wherever they will be turning (or stopping) making their car come to a crawl.. As you tail gate them, maybe then they'll get the message.

Swerving usually comes, the driver is not sure of his destination so he creeps into the left turn lane and then realizes its a nada and drifts right back to where he was nearly hitting you. The unfortunate soul behind them.

I'm not saying its bad to drive safe, duh.

But it's almost not safe to drive too safe...If that makes sense.

Fish.

I like to delete my facebook account every now and again, although it usually sparks back up within a few days. It makes me feel a tad bit rebellious though. Like I'm not going with the flow I'm heading down stream instead of up with the rest of my friends.

Keeping on this same note of water creatures..

There are plenty of fish in the sea. (there I said it)

Questions always come to mind,

• did he really care? I think so... Or he just had amazing enough patient to put up with me.

• Is he going to read this blog post and know its about him? This I'm not sure on because now that he's officially through with me I have nothing left for him to be of interest. He most likely doesn't even remember this exist.

If he does read this then, hey bud whats up?? 

• The term "cold shoulder" comes to mind now when I think of him or you depending on who is reading this.

Meh, I'll be fine.

He's the one that's gotta look out for a torpedoing mob of people who do care for me. Shocker, someone cares!

Mmh a plethora of dogs when I'm older? Deal, who needs a husband. I'm not cat lady though. Cats have issues. Speak for the people!

Speaking of which our divorce was never final boy! Ya know.. From our fake marriage.

Psht.

I'm happy.

That's the only thing I'm learning from this ordeal. 

Stay happy.